Filthy Millennial is going to have a shitty February.

HOW FUCKING FITTING.

HOW FUCKING FITTING THAT THIS WEEK'S BLOG IS GOING TO BE ABOUT AN EXTRA SHITTY GUY.

GET READY FOLKS, I'M TYPING WITH MY EMOTIONS TONIGHT BECAUSE MY MOM TOLD ME TO.

(Grandma, you may want to stop reading this.)

6:00am: Monday, February 1st, 2021.

I'm awake and I'm having my first sip of coffee.

It is Black History Month and it's a Hallmark holiday month, Valentine's Day.

After my usual morning app routine, I open Facebook. I see that I have a notification, a friend request. A "friend request" from a guy that I have not spoken to since November of 2019

I'm just going to give it to you straight, here are some dumb facts about this guy, and maybe you'll get the picture as to why this stressed me out or you could say, I was "triggered."

(Shoutout to my cat, Trigger!)

Trust me, after you read this list, you'll think; "Why Filthy Millennial, why?"

Since 2017, he dragged me along with his bullshit and I bought into it, every single time.
This guy is a flirt, a mega flirt like, "can't be trusted because he'll actually act on it," flirt.
He told me over the phone that he was going to "see where things would go," with another gal he had been talking to while he was talking to me. We had been chatting for 8 months.
Whenever he reached out, he would always start with the line, "I'm sorry I've been MIA for awhile." I slowly learned that is code for, "I've been seeing someone else and they no longer emotionally satisfy me so I'm reaching out to you."
Even though I was continuously disappointed with this guy, I STILL stowed away beer in my luggage from my favorite brewery in Kalamazoo, MI.
He is/was (I don't know his life anymore) a smoker.
One night we kissed in the rain and he called me by his (at the time) girlfriend's name...I thought that shit only happens in movies.

(Yes, I know, I kissed a guy that was in a relationship, karma got me right then and there, don't worry it has been taken care of.)

After receiving that request, I felt like shit.

My chest was tight, I had a shortness of breath.

This person, had reached out to me in June of 2020, talking about how much he missed having a "wise friend" like me in his life. I didn't respond and I blocked his phone number.

Everyone reading this, I can't promise you that this blog will be funny this week because damn, I'm trying to find the humor in this but, you may think that I'm just "masking" my feelings. We'll see what happens.

Therapist Brett is going to have an earful this week.

The last few weeks in therapy, I've been trying to find things to talk about. We've mostly just talked about my career goals and becoming more vulnerable with my work and putting myself out there. So the fact we're going to talk about a stupid boy this week, I'm going to cry, I just know it.

Oh fuck, now I'm getting teary eyed, this is dumb.

Okay, so after that social media trigger, I proceeded to get ready for my day.

(Shoutout to my cat, Trigger!)

7:00am Monday, February, 1st 2021:

I leave my place in order to give myself ample time to brush off my car from the legit snow storm we had on Saturday into all day Sunday.

As I'm walking to my car, those snow drifts are looking a little big....

You've got to be shitting me.

How did it not click in my brain that when the plows go down the street the excess snow gets pushed to the side and up against the street parked cars.

The snow next to my driver's side door is up to my knees and I do not have a shovel in my trunk this year.

Let's brainstorm ideas on how my 2007 Toyota Corolla will make it through this wall of snow.

Let's heat up my car and then my car will be so warm it will be like a lightsaber cutting through a Wampa. (It's a snow yeti if you're not familiar with my impressive Star Wars knowledge.)
I'll just stomp on the snow....a lot.
My window brush can dig us out!
I can't believe he thinks he can friend request me.
Will the patients across the street see me if I just lay down and roll back and forth? We have to flatten this wall!
I'm just gonna kick some snow.
Brush the snow on your car AWAY from the snow wall.
Out of all the months of the year, the one that contains "Singles Awareness Day," he thinks he can just comeback into my life?
I'm just going to lay down.
I'll turn the wheels side to side in order to pack down some of the snow.
I need to text my babysitting family because I am definitely going to be late.
That piece of shit.
Just lay down and roll.
Thank gawd I wore my boots.
I'm just going to sit in my car now and request an Uber.
What a fucking waste of Hopslam I shared with him that one year.

7:36am Monday, February 1st, 2021:

An Uber driver is found.

The driver had a very clean car, they were very polite and they wanted to talk about politics...

Please don't put me through this, not today. Today of all days, Uber driver please don't put me through this because if one more thing triggers me, I will throw up tears out of my eyes.

(Shoutout to my cat, Trigger!)

I AM EXPERIENCING A LOT OF EMOTIONS AT ONCE AND I AM TRYING TO PROCESS!

8:24am Monday, February 1st, 2021:

Even though I was late, my babysitting family was absolutely lovely, they completely understood and it's all good. There is no longer any reason for me to sit and mentally beat myself up over this situation.

The two year old had already forgiven me because while I was washing my hands, he sprinted over and head butted me in the butt while screaming my name...

The 7 month old just gave me open mouth kisses on my cheeks, forehead and chin all day.

2:33pm Monday, February 1st, 2021:

The friend request is deleted and he is finally blocked. (Honestly, thought I had blocked him, but clearly not.)

5:01pm Monday, February 1st, 2021:

Lyft driver picks me up and I am still upset by the amount of money that was spent on Uber and Lyft today.

My babysitting family sends me home with a shovel.

9:29pm Monday, February 1st, 2021:

I'm going to shovel my car out of the snow now, so I can exhaust myself into sleep because my anxieties are still running high.