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Filthy Millennial is turning Dirty 30

Welp folks, it is happening...

I thought we would have the technology by now to stop this process but, I had too much faith in "the system" or maybe not enough since I'm a cynical SOB.

As I write this week's post...

(Hello, yes I'm back for the week but, will probably be taking another week off again due to lack of sleep and I'm still hungover from PRIDE last Saturday and Therapist Brett thinks I am in need of a super recharge so yeah, I'll probably take a bit of a break for July...find some more inspiration, have my tarot cards read a few times aka want to ask about my love life but, it always turns into a career reading but I really want to ask if that one guy is interested in me but, he's actually seeing someone else and I just have a major high school crush on him which is dumb and what are we even talking about anymore? Oh, right...)

my birthday and according to my instagram countdown is 5 days and 47 hours away...

Before turning 30, I have compiled a list of implicit and explicit societal expectations that I have come to internalize thus making it harder to cut myself some slack.

Can I get an AMEN from all of my Millennial homies!!

Society's List of things you should accomplish before turning 30

  • Bachelor's Degree if not higher.

  • Marriage.

  • Children.

  • A financially stable job.

  • Buy a house.

  • Have a dog, if not two.

  • No more student loans.

  • An understanding of taxes.

  • Get private health insurance.

  • Don't go to therapy or else you're "crazy."

  • Keep everything negative about your life "hush hush" because everything is fine.

  • Attend a full moon party in Thailand.

  • Having a lot of sex with your spouse.

  • If you're not working, you're lazy. (me: if I'm not posting in my blog every week, I'm lazy)

  • If you're not in a relationship, you hold no value.

  • Fight someone.

  • Own a Le Creuset or a KitchenAid Mixer or a crockpot

  • You must make as much money as possible in order to be happy.

  • If you're not at a certain weight, then you're fat.

  • Be able to ask for what you want in bed.

Welp...I'll let you know how much I accomplish in the next 5 days and 45 hours I have remaining in my 20's.

Until then please feel free to Venmo me birthday money @Jackie-Wiles or confess that you love me and that you want to elope immediately.

That would really help me out.

Happy Birthday to me bitchezzz.


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