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Filthy Millennial and her Elder Millennial sister

“You know that you're a Millennial too, right?”

She cringes and says, “I should have been Gen X.”

"Millennial” is just another title we have in common, along with “sisters.”

You'd think with 5 years between us, we would at least be in separate generations but, no.

We're here together, in this one.

With our age difference, we balanced our childhood timeline out perfectly.

For example, while she was a teenager, I was an annoying tween/preteen. When her friends would come over, I was plotting ways to sneak into her room so I could hangout with them.

Around this time, she'll probably tell you that I once threatened her life with a nail file but, I'd just like to say, this is 100% true.

If only you knew the amount of times she pinned me to the floor and pretended to hawk a loogie onto my face, bish deserved to be threatened. I wish I could say the loogies stopped but, they only got worse.

In her later teen years, my friend's and I would sneak into her room while she was gone and pull out her bras because bras are hilarious to a teenager. Also, I didn't have to wear a bra until I was like, 15...techinically, still don't wear one if I don't have to. #IBTC

(I'll give you a dollar if you know this hashtag)

When she was out of the house, I took over her room and jacked any clothes she had left in her closet. Life was bliss in my later teen years.

Loogie free.

Once I hit my late teen's and she was in her 20's, that is when we began to notice a shift in our relationship as sisters. We actually wanted to hangout.

When we got together, everything would start out perfectly fine. Then simultaneously, we would both hit our maximum tolerance for each other and we would erupt into some huge annoyed argument.

Thanksgiving of 2012 was the first time we got together and an argument didn't happen.

"Have you noticed that we haven't had a fight yet?"

"Wow, well would you look at us!"

For the remainder of the evening we were both very cautious with each other and our conversations. We were waiting...

As I was hitting my early 20's and she was in her mid 20's, I went on the road so our sister time became very scarce but, all the more important.

My mid 20's and her late 20's, my sister got married. I've got a cool brother in law to prove it (Sorry to post this blog about my sister on your birthday, man). I was the "Maid of Honor" in the wedding, she didn't let me give a speech but, whatevs. With my sense of humor, you'd think she would want to take advantage of my comical writing skills.

Now she has a little family that consists of my two punk nieces, Nevalee and Maryann. My sister treats her children significantly better than she ever treated me when I was their age...Like WTF.

I fear for the moment Maryann is pinned to the floor by Nevalee and she is going to hawk a loogie in her that point, I may have to hand Maryann an extremely dull and flimsy nail file.

Little sisters represent.

With a 5 year difference, it's pretty easy to keep track of our milestone ages. I'm turning 30 this year, I'll let you (the reader) do the math for how old my sister will be turning because I feel like she'll give me shit for calling out her age...even though at the same time she'll probably give me shit for not calling out her age because she could care less...hmmm...She's going to give me shit either way.

Anyways, I have always looked up to my sister and I've just about copied everything she's done.

  • She plays hockey, I'm going to play hockey.

  • She's in Colorguard, I'm in Colorguard.

  • She's in NHS, eh...No, I don't need to be in there.

  • She listens to Weezer, I'm going to listen to Weezer.

  • She is into beading, I'm into beading.

  • She says that we should get Mom a cat for Mother's Day, I agree. Mom did indeed say that she wanted another cat, BTW.

  • She's really into cross stitching, I'm.....

going to fight it.........

Nope, not going to do it........

I'm sorry, does that pattern say, "Suck it, Bitch?"

You SOB, I'm in.

Since moving to Chicago, my sister and I have upped our quality sister time to actual weekends instead of just one night. Our first sister weekend together in Chicago, I took her to a rotating sushi place, we shopped all over Andersonville and we went to a Halloween/Fall pop up.

This year's sister weekend (during COVID), we cross stitched until 3am, we shopped in Andersonville and we watched crappy reality TV.

Also, we drove on ice covered roads and in below freezing weather from Kalamazoo to Chicago...

Mom and Dad were LIVID.

But, like...Sister Weekend.

Do you even realize how difficult it is to schedule SISTER WEEKEND?!

Since the start of this particular blog post, there is one recurring theme that I've pulled out from this; no matter how "poor" of a choice we have made whether separately or together, we have always backed each other up on our decisions.

*Like getting my mom a cat for Mother's Day, there is no doubt that we will always back our story up on this situation. Mom says that she never asked for a cat but, my sister and I recall a conversation where she did indeed, ask for a cat! *

*2 against 1*

I love my sister very much and I will always envy her successes in life so far and I will always envy the family she and my brother in law have created.

Happy 35th Birthday, Justine.

You Filthy Elder Millennial.


Happy Birthday to my Bro in Law, Cyrus, it's actually his birthday today, on thee day I post this blog...




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