Filthy Millennial's first time

PSYCH!

You thought this was going to be about sex and oh boy, it is far from anything sexual..

I mean, unless we look at it from a sexual spiritual thing but...no...no sex.

Monday was my 31st birthday.

Did I hope by this time last year, that my life would feel more put together?

Yes.

Did I hope that I would have a boyfriend?

Yes.

Did I hope I would financially be 110% stable?

Yes but, then I bought Post Malone tickets.

(Worth it.)

Did I hope that I would be more vulnerable with my friends, family, love interests and myself?

Yes, was I?

Eh. Still a lot of dudes that don't know that I love them, but in a charming way, not an obsessive way...

Did I hope I would take more chances in my life?

Yes and I did.

I took some shrooms.

Let me share with you about my first time doing some shrooms that were in the form of chocolate.

Did you ever watch that horror movie called, Shrooms?

It wasn't like that, whatsoever.

There were no cows around me. (If you know, you know.)

It was a Saturday, and my friend was going to be my guide through this new endeavor.

We purchased a bar of edible chocolate thru a site that a lot of people buy crafty things on.

1pm: After my parent's left for a family friend's retirement party, we popped the first little square of chocolate.

DISCLAIMER: My parents knew exactly what we were doing because I flat out told them. I think both my mom and dad wish that I kept things to myself but, I think they like to hear about my new experiences when it comes to the "greenery."

As you can tell by my extensive vocabulary about "grass," I do it, A LOT.

Anyways, about an hour into the first square, we felt pretty relaxed. A little giggle here and there but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary.

2pm: We pop a second square of chocolate.

We played a round of corn hole and we both noticed more giggles and tossing a bean bag was a weird feeling...

After corn hole, we went inside to get some water and I had the munchies. I ate a snack bag of Doritos Cool Ranch and then devoured an entire bag of Sour Punch Straw candy...

Honestly, I couldn't tell you if it was because of the shrooms or it was day three of my period that made me feel like my stomach was a bottomless pit.

2:50pm: We're feeling relaxed and maybe a little more giggly.

Due to impatience, we pop squares 3 &4 at the same time.

We've been responsible for so long, I need to see results.

3:30pm: I'm going to the bathroom.

3:40pm: while still in the bathroom, I'm staring at my flannel that I dropped onto the ground and its beginning to flow...

I move my eyes to the tile floor and I swear that the square tiles themselves are moving a little bit...it reminds me of a koi pond...

I move my eyes from the floor to the window and I look outside...

Woah..I can see so far.

Enhance..

Enhance..

Enhance..

Enhance...

Did you guys ever notice how our eyes can focus on things in the distance but then we zoom back in with our eyes to something that is closer to us?

Woah. Our eyes are like camera lenses.

I get out of the bathroom and head for the outdoors.

I take a seat in a lawn chair that is under a tree facing out into my parent's woods.

Looking up at a Beach Tree, I swear its branches are expanding out over me and not just because of the wind.

I just sit there, watching this tree and I am frozen.

My friend joins me outside and asks if I'm okay.

Tears in my eyes, I say, "Do you think trees have this maternal instinct to protect humans even though we treat the planet like shit and we cut them down?"

Good gawd, this tree and I are connected.

For the next 3 to 4 hours, my friend and I chat and the Beach tree puts in their input every so often.

For example, when my friend told me that I "fangirl" other people more than I "fangirl" myself.

The tree expanded their branches out, which I took that as the tree agreed with my friend.

She isn't wrong.

I admit, I put a lot of performers I look up to on a pedestal even though I too, am qualified to be on that pedestal with them.

When we talked about guys, the Beach tree withdrew their branches and my friend took that as a "bow," as in "yas queen, let that guy go."

I thought the tree was just being shy.

Until about 7pm, my friend and I would go back and forth between sitting under the Beach tree and the Ranger Station, sharing laughs, cries and good beers.

DISCLAIMER: The Ranger Station is pretty much the family hangout area at my parent's house.

The shrooms must have been wearing off because when I looked to the Beach tree, even with the wind blowing, it had completely stopped.

Damn.

That Beach tree felt like the most secure place ever but, I guess it was time for them to move onto the next 30 something year old that was trying shrooms for the first time and be their secure place.

Yeah...

I'll never look at the Beach tree at my parent's house the same way.

My takeaway from my first time doing shrooms was indeed a positive one, I'm thankful that my friend and the Beach tree were there to keep me in check and to provide moments of clarity.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a post recommending to do shrooms. If you want to, give it a try, just make sure you have someone who has experience/makes you feel safe. Highly recommend chilling out under a Beach tree though, they provide excellent feedback and are very supportive.